He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
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You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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