Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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