You're completely useless in the revolution.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
