This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
