He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
