i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
