So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
