The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
