is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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