Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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