Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the day after is always just damage control
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
