And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
