the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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