You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
