i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize