is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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