I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
