I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
