Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
