Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
