how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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