apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
