Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
