did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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