i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize