happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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