I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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