I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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