I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
