if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize