So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
