Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
