if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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