Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
