I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
