I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
