capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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