In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
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Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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