Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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