dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
