why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
