Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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