I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
