this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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