goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
