I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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