Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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