How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he was CRYING into my vagina
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
