STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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