JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
