im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
