Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
