You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
