i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
