the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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