I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
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