You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
