Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
