i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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