just tell him i said nine months
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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