I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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