They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
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I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor