I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
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when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
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he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"