i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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