i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
