Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
