is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So. Much. Porn.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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