Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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