That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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